Having some time on my hands during the holiday season, I spent a bit of it analyzing Flash Art’s Art Diary for the 2000-2001 season. Among other things, I looked into the relationship between artists and art critics in ten major cities around the globe. Although it is clear that the number of people reported in either category in each city depends on the local perceptions of Flash Art, the self-styled leading international art magazine, I think it is reasonable to assume that artists and critics are more-or-less equally affected by these perceptions. The ratio between the two—that is, the number of artists per critic—can therefore offer a rough measure of the intellectual vigor of the art scene. Alternatively, of course, this ratio gives us a useful pointer where artists can hide from the vexations of criticism. Well, London comes on top of the list with 1.5 artists per critic, followed by Moscow (2.3) and Madrid (2.7). Most cities in my sample fall between roughly four and six artists per critic: Tokyo (3.7), Milano (4.0), Seoul (4.4), New York (4.6), Berlin (5.5), and Amsterdam (5.9). Perhaps not surprisingly, Los Angeles comes last with 8.3 artists per critic. This is a veritable haven for bashful artists, as well as a great immigration opportunity for zealous critics.