I am getting angrier by the day about my life in Croatia, where I am staying only because of my beloved, but I am at a loss when it comes to a sensible way out. Namely, I am eager to cut all my ties with the country, but I am stuck with a house on its territory. If I renounced my Croatian citizenship, I would also have hard time staying in Croatia even if I got rid of the house. I can hardly wait for Croatia to join the European Union, but I am sure that legal rights of resident foreigners will remain murky long after the accession. As a British citizen, I am likely to be facing all sorts of miseries for a long while. What am I to do? The only thing that comes to mind at present is to engage the European Union itself. Having spent some time on the World Wide Web, today I came up with Viviane Reding, the Union’s vice-president and commissioner responsible for justice, fundamental rights, and citizenship. Sounds like the right person to help me become a foreigner for true in Croatia. Who knows, she may even be of assistance in my legal battle with the mayor of Motovun, who has done his best to ensure that I am treated as a foreigner in his municipality. After all, the two stories are deeply intertwined.