CHRIS (August 26, 2000)

I dreamt that I was living with Elise, but that Dorian and Maya were our children. The little ones were their present age, but Elise was quite a bit younger. We just got back together after a few months of living apart, presumably in Europe and the States. We moved into a new apartment, a horrible little place with poorly-maintained old-fashioned furniture of every description. It was late morning. A friend of Elise came over, and I heard from the hall that Elise was offering her coffee or tea in Serbo-Croatian. The woman was an American, though. When she walked into the room, where I was taking the children’s toys out of my knapsack, I greeted her most affably and kissed her on her plump cheek. She was in her early forties, quite round, and dressed in a baggy dress to help her hide her formless body. Her hair was dirty-blonde and rather short. I introduced myself as Elise’s husband. Confused for a moment, the woman looked toward Elise, who just came in from the hall: “I thought Chris was your husband!?” Elise did not reply. I looked the other way, but noticed that the woman made a guilty grimace as she ducked her head and looked away, too. Elise must have grimaced or motioned her to shut up. “Elise,” I said in a mocking falsetto voice, “who is this guy, Chris?” “You don’t have to answer,” I chuckled immediately afterwards. Elise said nothing. Embarrassed, her friend shuffled into another room. A minute later Elise went out of the apartment. I heard her walk slowly all the way down to the entrance of the apartment building, but then she came back up. We were on the third or fourth floor, and one could hear each of her steps on the wooden staircase. I was still unloading my knapsack, on the bottom of which there were many small plastic toys, but also candy of all sorts formed as animals, soldiers, cartoon characters. Elise did not look my way, and I avoided her eyes. The only thing I remember talking about with her before I woke up is that day’s schedule. I remember being surprised that she would be out most of the day.