While Paris climate talks are proceeding toward the vaunted deal to reduce carbon emissions around the globe, guidelines on how to reduce one’s carbon footprint are in the news. All sorts of idiocies are on offer even in the best newspapers in the world. In general, the greater the carbon footprint of a country, the greater the idiocy of the guidelines intended for its citizens. Deep down, everything is rather simple: buy less and waste less. Also, drive less and fly less. On top of that, and mainly for the citizens of the richest countries in the world, eat less, and especially red meat. But there is one guideline that is conspicuously missing anywhere one looks: reproduce less. For it is still not clear to all and sundry that the one and only cause of climate change is overpopulation of the earth. Human overpopulation, that is. Whence the idiocy of all the guidelines on offer. At any rate, all one needs to know on how to reduce one’s carbon footprint is right here, and in less than two-hundred words. Good luck!

Addendum I (August 25, 2017)

Having come across this piece on one of my uncharted journeys through my writings, I am surprised by its glaring omissions. Not to beat around the bush, I have homicide and suicide in mind. No matter how unsavory, they are omissions for true. When it comes to the question of how to reduce one’s carbon footprint, nothing should be left out. Perish the thought. Along these lines, starting a bloody war comes on top of the list. The more global, the merrier. Who says the forty-fifth American president is a waste of our time? Cut out his lying tongue!

Addendum II (October 27, 2018)

A funny piece, this. Coming across it purely by chance only three years later, I cannot but feel uncomfortable with it. To begin with, my recipe for foolproof subversion says it all, and in not too many words (“A Recipe for Foolproof Subversion,” May 14, 2013). Indeed, reducing one’s cabron footprint ends up being subversive to boot. Capitalism as it has come to pass would be powerless against my humble recipe. The trouble is that carbon is only a small part of a much wider picture of the human problem (“Bill Gates’ Equation,” May 21, 2016). Of course, the explosion of human population is at its foundations, but nobody dares put it in these simple terms, one of the celebrated founders of Microsoft included. Which is why World War III cannot be shoved under the rug any longer (“World War III for Beginners,” October 18, 2017). Returning to my discomfiture about this piece, it strikes me as rather pale by comparison with so many other pieces to my name. In retrospect, there is no oomph to it. Whence my urge to come up with yet another bloody addendum. And in no uncertain words. Carbon footprint, my ass.