When my beloved is not with me during the summer nights, loud farts wake me up quite often. And I let them rip. By the morning, I let out at least five tremendous farts. It is uncooked fruit and vegetables, I reckon. I eat a lot of raw fruit, as well as many diverse salads. Which is why my stomach gets bloated much more than during the winter, when most of the food I eat is cooked. But farting like an ape amuses me in its own right. When I am with my beloved, I constrain myself to the best of my ability, and I make sure that my farts are as quiet as possible. She complains only about the foul odor, but I spare her from the sound. Somehow, I know she is next to me even when I am asleep. Anyhow, last night was quite special. I ate plenty of salad yesterday, and my stomach looked tremendous when I went to sleep. Like a balloon, it made me shake my head at the bathroom mirror. It was pretty hard, too, and I knew what was in store. And farting can be such a joy when you can let it go without any compunction. My stomach looked almost flat in the mirror when I went to the bathroom this morning.