My beloved is away for a couple of days, and so I went out for lunch all by myself. The food was good, but I could not stand the faces of humans around me. I found them outright disgusting, no less. And then I went to one of my favorite cafés for a cup of tea. It was packed. One more time, all the faces within my sight made me shudder. “Your own fault,” I kept repeating to myself as I rushed to finish my tea and head for my beloved’s apartment. Everywhere I looked on my way, I could not stand the faces of humans I saw. They struck me as disgusting one and all. Thus I felt safe when I finally locked the apartment door behind me. Having removed my shoes and put my slippers on, I went to the bathroom to wash my hands and brush my teeth. And then I saw my own face in the mirror. The disgust overwhelmed me once again. “My own fault,” I grumbled, “my ass!” A human is a human is a human. The best I can do while keeping apart from my fellow humans is to stay clear of mirrors.

Addendum (February 21, 2017)

Two years later, the disgust with human faces has become kind of normal to me. Run of the mill, as it were. Although I still go to restaurants and cafés in central Zagreb, I do my best not to look at my fellow humans all too often. But I spend most of my time either walking through nigh-deserted parks or all by myself in my beloved’s apartment. Besides, I do my best not to look at myself in the mirror. This is hard to avoid while I am shaving in the morning, for the mirror is right in front of my face, but I make sure not to look into my eyes. When it comes to humans, it is the eyes that are real killers. Amazingly, though, this does not hold for my beloved. Her face delights me for many a year now, and so do her eyes. In fact, I relish seeing her and even staring at her on occasion. It is love that makes all the difference in the world, no doubt. Alas, if only I could feel the same for myself, not to mention my fellow humans! To my chagrin, I tend to see myself as the mirror of my species. Disgust incarnated, no less.