Thus blares The Guardian today. This is supposed to be a revolutionary message, telling you that it is your brain that is in control rather than you. But the message is garbled, of course. Your brain is hardly yours. It is a human brain that happens to be between your ears. Well, between human ears that happen to show in your passport photo. Returning to the brain, you control a tiny bit of its activities. And tiny it surely is. Minuscule. The rest is controlled by your ancestors. Our ancestors. The human species as a whole, that is. Forget about you in your brain, to cut the long story short. And forget about the so-called free will all the religions blare about. You are but a puppet. The trouble is that the strings are in the hands of a chimpanzee. Nay, a baboon. I am kidding, of course. The strings are in the hands of an amoeba.