Thus Der Spiegel today. “Cyprus could soon seek aid from the European Union’s bailout fund,” elaborates the newspaper, “but according to a secret report by Germany’s intelligence service, the aid might mainly benefit Russian oligarchs who have parked illegal money in bank accounts in Cyprus.” Goodness gracious. If any oligarchs are to benefit, the Russian ones certainly should not. If German or French oligarchs were to benefit, though, that would be perfectly fine. Which is exactly what will happen if Greece, Portugal, Spain, or Italy gets any aid from the Union’s bailout fund. The only mystery of this story is why Cyprus is a member of the vaunted Union, anyhow? It has been nothing but a financial haven for Russians and their closest allies for a couple of decades already. And it does not take Germany’s intelligence service to figure out this little secret of the Mediterranean island.