This morning I received another registered letter from the court in Pazin. The official blue envelope that reeks of former Yugoslavia is enough to upset me. The content is even more upsetting, to be sure. The mayor and municipality of Motovun are also appealing to the higher court in Pula. Their trumped-up charges of libel have been struck down in Pazin, but they will do their best to pursue me as long as possible. Having entered the third year of relentless political harassment by the mayor and his stooges, I am struggling with my emotions. I expected their appeals, but that does not help me one single bit. I am fighting a strong urge never to return to Motovun. More, I am fighting a deep longing to leave the country of blue envelopes for ever. Stuck in Croatia because of the love of my life, I feel like bursting at the seams. I feel like exploding to high heaven in the vague hope that a few bits and pieces of me would reach over the dreaded border.