I miss footnotes in today’s books. Step by treacherous step, they disappeared in my own lifetime, too. For centuries, they were there to qualify what was said. To add another twist to the argument. To caution the reader about different readings of the argument presented in the text itself. Or to misguide the credulous reader with a touch of seething cunning. Turned into mere endnotes, they were first pushed to the end of chapters, and then to the end of books entire. Remote and ever less enlightening, they became parenthetical at best. But a clever footnote of old was missed at the reader’s peril. It was to be pondered on second or third reading, when it would suddenly turn rather surprising. And sometimes even revealing. Enlightening, perhaps. Come to think of it, I miss footnotes in my own rambling book about everything under the sun, as well. I, too, have become an unwitting victim of rampant barbarism of our age. Welcome back, precious footnotes! A new lease on your life is my solemn promise.

Addendum I (March 7, 2013)

As witnessed by my writings following this piece, I have not kept my promise. I have definitely become a barbarian myself. For I cannot but remember Varlam Shalamov’s Captain Fleming, a Soviet snoop, who came up with this felicitous line: “Man is a creature of notes and comments” (“Captain Fleming’s Introduction to Culture,” August 28, 1982). The text itself could always wait in the snooping business. The best I can do at the moment is to repeat my promise. Solemnly, too.

Addendum II (December 7, 2014)

No matter how solemn, my repeated promises have been to no avail. As witnessed by my writings once again, the few footnotes that show up here and there have nothing to do with footnotes I had in mind. They are mere bibliographic references rather than notes and comments appreciated by Shalamov’s hero. Except if everything I write is not understood as a vast collection of, well, footnotes. Footnotes bereft of the main text, of course. Come to think of it, perhaps I have indeed followed Captain Fleming’s literary taste to such an extent that I have ended up with nothing but footnotes. Footnotes writ free, as it were. A splendid switch in the argument, this.

Addendum III (October 16, 2017)

Goodness gracious, the previous addendum is right on the mark! Even more, it offers a straightforward reading of everything I have ever written. Indeed, I am a creature of notes and comments. Or footnotes, as it were. Even a brief visit to my magnum opus is sufficient to understand that the main narrative is eternally missing. My tangled life is in the background from start to finish, but my notes and comments are all over the place. Which is why I feel sort of sorry for those in the snooping business, for more than three-million words is hardly a joke. Where to start? And where to finish? I go on and on about everything under the sun for more than forty years already, and it is anyone’s guess how many more years are ahead of me. My solemn apologies to Captain Fleming and his associates. Hugs and kisses from the Footnote Man!