Thus the title of a documentary film about golf that will be shown on the leading channel of Croatian television tomorrow evening from just after eight till nine o’clock. I will appear in it together with several outspoken critics of the sport’s abuses in Croatia. I have not seen it so far, but it is likely that I am not playing a minor rôle in the film. For the time being, I quite like the title. The film will indeed help people understand what golf is actually about. To wit, it is not about kicking a small rubber ball with a club so as to get it into a hole marked by a flag and surrounded by mowed grass, but about crooked real estate development mostly in Istria and Dalmatia. In spite of the peninsula’s modest size, about a third of some sixty planned golf courses are in Istria alone. Thousands upon thousands of apartments, houses, and villas are golf’s awful secret. Almost all the people in Motovun know this already, and by heart, but many others across Croatia have not yet been acquainted with the vaunted sport first hand. Therefore, they will benefit from the film the most. I can only hope that it will help stop the advance of fake golf in its tracks. Otherwise, an upturn in economic conditions might despoil many a beautiful spot in the country, including Motovun’s countryside, which is still blessed by ancient vineyards, olive groves, and orchards.

Addendum I (April 19, 2011)

I just received an electronic-mail message to the effect that the television program had been changed because of someone’s death. I have never heard of the name, but the person in question was an actor of some renown in Croatia. According to the new television program, the documentary film about golf will be shown on April 26, instead. One never knows, though. This country is teeming with actors of some renown.

Addendum II (April 26, 2011)

This evening I watched the documentary together with a few of my closest neighbors. I was far from impressed with the film itself, which struck me as hopelessly disjointed, but I was pleased with my own performance. Surprise, surprise. At any rate, the overall message is loud and clear: golf in Croatia is about crooked real estate development rather than sport or tourism. As I put it squarely in the film, it was the corrupt Croatian politicians who were to make the biggest profit from the whole thing. And so on, and so forth. But this is definitely my last television appearance on any subject whatsoever, including golf. I do not wish to see my face on the little screen ever again.