The European Central Bank is in the news. For fear of protracted deflation, it has introduced negative interest rates. It is the first major central bank to do so, too. Hooray! In short, capitalism is up shit creek. “Now we are in a completely different world,” Mario Draghi declared. And the bank’s chief ought to know. Soon enough, investors will get sizable gifts from banks for any investment to their liking. And many more benefits besides. There will be fun and games galore. And much fame across the globe. Capitalism is entering an entirely new frame. Investors, welcome to the final show! Negative interest rates forever, as it were!