A letter from the Department for Work and Pensions in Wolverhampton in the United Kingdom arrived in this morning’s mail. Judging by its looks and the ominous reference number printed in a large font, I was facing another misery with the British bureaucracy. But I could find neither the name of the person writing to me nor his or her signature. “Help and advice,” I read at the bottom of the letter. “Important additional information,” was right above it. It took me a while to find the key line in the letter: “Your entitlement to a Christmas bonus.” Phew! As it turned out, I was entitled to no less than ten pounds sterling. This amount had been sent to my bank account already. To my amazement, there was not a word anywhere about Christmas itself. The last line in the letter explains it all, I guess: “If English is not your first language, you can use one of our interpreters or one of your own.” If this is how a happy letter looks, no prize for guessing how it looks in the case it is unhappy. Merry Christmas all around!

Addendum I (June 3, 2016)

I just received another letter of the same kind from the Department for Work and Pensions in Wolverhampton. A bit apprehensive, as ever, I looked for the key line at once. “Your entitlement to a Christmas bonus,” it announces. Phew! A bit puzzled by its timing, for it was sent to me only last month, I looked for the year the bonus applied to. It was a bit early for 2016, I reckoned. As it turns out, it is for 2015, but there is no explanation in the letter for its tardiness. The bonus is about six months late, to be sure. At any rate, I am entitled to ten pounds sterling one more time. Hooray! With my apologies for the appreciable delay, Merry Christmas all around!

Addendum II (February 21, 2020)

For all its administrative boo-boos years ago, the Department for Work and Pensions in Wolverhampton has not missed a single Christmas bonus in the interim years. To its credit, the bonus has been arriving a few days before Christmas, as one would expect in the Christian world. For good measure, it is ten pounds sterling year after year. Inflation is apparently a thing of the past, anyhow. If I live another twenty years, I will be two-hundred pounds the richer. Wow! As this brief exercise in arithmetic shows beyond any doubt, it is good to stay alive as long as possible, for Christmas bonuses eventually add up over the years. Would that I could keep plugging for another century or so… At any rate, I am most thankful to the Department for Work and Pensions in Wolverhampton. Merry Christmas for ever and ever!