A few days into our twelfth year together, quite out of the blue but still very much on purpose and ladylike as ever, to my wonder she delivered her first fart.

Addendum I (January 4, 2009)

As luck would have it, my beloved delivered her second fart only a day after the first. Accidental as it was, it was especially delightful. It is hard to describe how happy I am, though! After all these years, she has opened up at last. From now on, she is surely all mine!

Addendum II (December 20, 2015)

It has been almost seven years since her first fart, but I have not heard more than at most five or six of them in the meanwhile. On the average, she lets it rip about once a year. But this year’s fart, which took place two or three months ago, was quite amazing. It sounded like a high-pitched squeal coming from very far away. It was barely audible at the beginning, and so it took me a few seconds to figure out what was going on, but it lasted surprisingly long. Say, thirty or forty seconds. Afterwards, I could hardly stop laughing. She giggled along as I was kissing her, but she did not seem to be all that happy about her stellar performance. In general, she farts only to entertain me. That is, to make me happy. Which is the only reason why I am going on and on about this ticklish subject, it goes without saying.