There is one Croatian puzzle that has been bothering me for years: how come that Zagreb is more bourgeois than, say, Graz, Salzburg, or even Vienna? The word still used to describe someone from the Croatian capital is purger, a pitiful deformation of the German burger, someone from town. As opposed to paor, an even more pitiful deformation of the German bauer or peasant, that has always been a designation of great value. And even envy among the many. At long last I have the solution to this miserable Balkan puzzle. The Austro-Hungarian regime let the Jews develop Zagreb. This pathetic provincial town was too far from the then capital to worry about, so what the hell?! And the Jews did well for a generation or two. They prospered, as a matter of fact, at least until the Croatians sold them off to Hitler and helped him pack them off to Auschwitz. That is another story, though. While they were at it, the Jews did everything in their power to present themselves as the best and the brightest of the Austro-Hungarian world. They were the representatives of the glorious if distant empire. They excelled in bourgeois qualities, which they puffed up for the benefit of the Croatian peasants crowding around them. Not being either Austrian or Hungarian, the Jews exaggerated, and heavily so. Mightily, in fact, as is typical of all those who do not really belong. And Zagreb has remained the victim of their little ploy to this very day. Holier than thou. More Catholic than the Pope. In short, the pits. Ah, it is an unsurpassable joy being the leading theoretician of this miserable country on the very edge of the known world!