According to Zen master Hakuin (1685-1768), “you must closely examine yourself with the same urgency that you would devote to saving your head if it were ablaze.”[1] If? If? As is pretty obvious from a quick look at my Residua, my head is definitely ablaze, whence the urgency with which I have been examining myself so closely for all these years.

Addendum (August 14, 2018)

Lo and behold, my head is ablaze no longer. And a quick look at my magnum opus is my witness. It has been shrinking for quite a few years already, and it is sure to keep shrinking for many more years. Although my head is still glowering in places, most of the time it is only smoldering. There is much smoke but no flame, that is. Soon enough, the smoke will peter out, as well. In hindsight, I feel like bowing to master Hakuin. Having saved my head, I cannot but feel fortunate to have come across his words of wisdom. And in the nick of time! The year this piece was penned was crucial in my life. Looking back, my head was surely ablaze.

Footnote

1. Austin, J., Zen and the Brain, Cambridge, Massachusetts: The MIT Press, 1999 (first published in 1998), p. 117.