I have been reading about the Patriot Act in the States. A formidable document, no doubt. Meant to protect Americans from terrorist activities of all kinds, it provides for the development of something known as “total information awareness,” as well. In particular, it allows the government to gather information about citizens without proving any wrongdoing on their part. They can access all personal records—medical, telephone, financial, educational, and the like—without showing any involvement with terrorism. The times are dire, it goes without saying. Although I am neither an American citizen, nor knowingly involved in terrorist activities of any kind, I would like to help the government of the United States in any way I can. Therefore, I am hereby offering all my personal records for inspection at any time. This I pledge in perpetuity, regardless of the Patriot Act. I only hope that many others around the globe will follow my example and thus ensure greater security for Americans everywhere. After all, we all have relatives there. God bless America!