WITHOUT EVER RESORTING TO FICTION (December 22, 2000)
There are so many ways of writing about oneself. One can write about one’s recent experiences, including those that are still unfolding. One can reminisce about experiences almost forgotten. Of course, one can also make decisions while writing, as well as plan one’s future actions. Those plans can be quite complex, too, including contingencies and alternative courses of action. But there is one more way of writing about oneself that has little or nothing to do with the present, that is, with some way of connecting the desired or feared future to the present moment. To wit, one can envision oneself many years in the future—indeed, so many years in the future that no plan could possibly bridge the gap in time. This is not to be confused with forecasting or predicting, though. Envisioning needs to be plausible, but it does not need to be most probable. One can still envision oneself in rather improbable but not impossible situations so many years hence. In fact, envisioning may even be completely implausible from the vantage point of the present moment, but plausible from the point of view of some other moment in one’s life—say, the moment just before one had made a crucial decision or had undertaken a life-changing action. In other words, one can envision an alternative life—actually, one can envision several alternative lives more-or-less simultaneously. If one thinks of oneself as a character in a novel, one can envision that character in a number of plausible albeit impossible situations without ever resorting to fiction in the narrow sense of the word. And that possibility is ever more enticing as the end draws closer.