After I pee, I wrap my penis in toilet paper. This habit goes back some thirty years at least (“On Some Causes and Remedies of Post-Urination Drip,” May 10, 1995). This way, not a drop of urine ever reaches my underpants. The toilet paper collects all the sweat in my groin during the summer months, as well. Thus I can wear the same pair of underpants for several days without fear of embarrassment. In addition, the toilet paper in my “diaper” comes handy often enough. I can wipe my nose, for instance. Aware of my habits, my beloved occasionally asks for the toilet paper in my underpants to wipe her own nose. But I have just had a wonderful experience in the bus taking me to Istria. There are two operable vents on the air-conditioning duct above my seat in the back of the bus. Both of them are broken, and so I could not stop the rush of cold air that was making me increasingly uncomfortable. Looking for a way to plug the vents, I remembered my stash of toilet paper. When no-one was looking, I pulled it out of my underpants, and the problem was solved in no time. Feeling kind of proud of myself, I decided to write it all down. Each time I look up at the two vents with toilet paper sticking out of them, my lips shape into a wry smile.