About a month ago, I ordered The Iliad from Amazon.[1] Translated by Martin Hammond, it matched The Odyssey, which my beloved had just bought for me in Zagreb.[2] I wanted to read the two classics in the proper order, but the first one of the two was nowhere to be found in the Croatian capital. Anyhow, I expected to get it by post in about a month. A fortnight ago, though, I got an unexpected notice from the Croatian Customs Office in Zagreb. Although books are not subject to customs in this country, they informed me that I could get my copy of The Iliad only if I paid customs. Frustrated by the bureaucratic folly, which is emblematic of this pitiful country, I tore up the notice as soon as I read it. Amazon has already charged me for the book, but it is still waiting for me in Zagreb. And I have not budged a finger in the meanwhile. For my sins, I look forward to the end of this silly story. The story of The Iliad’s odyssey, as it were. Will the book ever reach me? If so, how long will I have to wait? If not, will I ever get my money back? Be that as it may, I will keep waiting without budging a finger. Classics are in my blood, and especially those about senseless wandering.

Addendum I (August 28, 2015)

This morning I received yet another notice from the Croatian Customs Office in Zagreb. They are reminding me of the first notice that was sent to me three weeks ago. If I fail to respond within eight days, they threaten to send the book back to Amazon. Annoyed, I first sent them an angry electronic-mail message, and then I called them on the phone. I was told that the book was ordered from Amazon in the States, and that all books from outside the European Union are subject to a five-percent tax ever since Croatia joined the Union a bit more than two years ago. Annoyed even more, I told them to send the book back to the sender. And then I sent another electronic-mail message to Amazon in the States. I explained what had happened, and I asked to either be refunded for the book that had failed to reach me, or for the book to be resent to me via an Amazon outlet within the Union. And I added that the Croatian policy of taxing books from anywhere outside the Union was nothing if not shameful. Books are books, for crying out loud, not to mention the book in question. Homer must be turning in his grave. Anyhow, the splendid book’s odyssey continues. But I am not likely to order any more books from Amazon or anyone else. The Croatian customs authorities can go to fucking hell.

Addendum II (August 29, 2015)

My message to the Amazon went straight to the fellow who was actually behind my order. In the meanwhile, we have exchanged a few messages, all of which show that Amazon is an organization worth its fame. The fellow agrees with me that the Croatian customs authorities are a special case within the European Union. He regularly sends shipments to Britain, Germany, the Netherlands, and Portugal, and there are no taxes for books in any of these countries, all of which are members of the Union. In one of the messages, he suggests that I go ahead and pay the tax required by the customs authorities, and offers to refund me once the book arrives. I thanked him for his kind offer, but I explained that my refusal to pay the tax had nothing to do with money. It is a question of principle, in fact. And I added that I had had my fill with Croatian bureaucracy in all its guises, for the idiocy of it all had become hard to bear. Instead, I asked him to send me the book again through some Amazon outlet within the Union. He responded that he would see what he could do, but that he understood my frustration with the Croatian authorities. He repeated that this thing about taxing of books was the first in his experience. But he ended his last message with a few words of hope. Perhaps the Croatian Customs Office in Zagreb will send me the book, anyway. Fingers crossed, as ever.

Addendum III (September 12, 2015)

I just received another electronic-mail message from the fellow at Amazon who sent me the book originally. It is back with him, he reported. He will return my money next. In other words, there is no fooling around with the Croatian Customs office in Zagreb. They take their job pretty seriously. I thanked the fellow for everything he had done to date, but I reminded him of the possibility of sending me the book with the help of an Amazon outlet within the European Union. This would skirt the Croatian customs authorities. Soon afterwards, I found the fellow’s promise that he would look into it. But I am afraid that I will never see the book. For better or worse, its odyssey was a rather short one. And this is my biggest disappointment at this stage. Romantically, I imagined receiving a battered and soiled package bearing The Iliad pristine and sparkling in the fullness of time…

Footnotes

1. Homer, The Iliad, translated by Martin Hammond, Harmondsworth: Penguin, 1987.

2. Homer, The Odyssey, translated by Martin Hammond, London and New York: Bloomsbury, 2014 (first published in 2000).