Thus a huge black sign on the chest of a red T-shirt worn by an exceedingly fat woman in her late thirties waddling through central Zagreb. The sign got me angry in no time. “No,” I almost shouted after the woman, “lust is why we are here!” Neither she nor the designer of the T-shirt could think beyond threadbare clichés, which are most likely religious in origin. It is enough to remember our closest relatives, the chimpanzees. The other primates are not far behind. And so on, all the way to untold bacteria and viruses at the roots of the vaunted tree of life. But love is definitely not why we are all here. Returning to perfidious humans, there is next to nothing they do out of love, anyhow. Only remember the designer of the T-shirt and the fat woman who acquired one of them for some odd reason. Love? Fat chance. More like lust for whatever strikes their fancy, such as money or food. Including a blessed orgasm or two every now and then, of course. “Oops,” I can imagine the fat woman crooning and wiping her lips, “I’m pregnant!”

Addendum I (August 26, 2015)

T-shirts with this pitiful sign can be seen all around central Zagreb this summer. I come across two or three of them every single day. As luck would have it, I just spotted one that was exactly the same as the one that provoked this outburst some three months ago. The T-shirts come in all colors, but the lettering is always on the most conspicuous side. Not surprisingly, only women go around advertising love in this obnoxious fashion. And quite a number of them push baby carriages in front of them. “Love is why they are here,” is what they are actually claiming, as if anyone around them is entertaining the impertinent question. If I am annoyed by the travesty, I can only imagine their husbands or partners. “Love?” they smirk when nobody is looking. “No fucking chance!” But the brazen women themselves will get rid of the irritating T-shirts as soon as their children start going to school, if not earlier. By then, love will be but a memory of times long past. And a good number of them will be divorced, as well.

Addendum II (June 14, 2016)

Soon upon my arrival in Zagreb earlier today, I came across a woman in her late teens wearing a black T-shirt with these words in large white lettering. Nibbling at a huge icecream cone, she was walking in the pedestrian area in the center together with her mother, who was in her mid- to late forties. Both of them fat, they looked exactly alike. Their round faces were nearly identical. They had the same hairstyle, as well as similar clothing. I almost laughed at their sight. Love is why we are here, my ass. Both women are about food and nothing but food. The sweeter, the better. The icecream cone in the young woman’s hand told the whole story without a single word.